I told you that I loved being loved by a writer , or someone in art. I’ve always found it so romantic to fall in love with a man who shows you his softness and kindness, while he is tough on the outside, and who loves you completely, only you. Men like that are so rare. It is so rare in this generation to find a man who is fully devoted to his lover, or a relationship that feels so loyal.

Sometimes I show you that I am jealous of the idea that all the girls like you, but at the same time I have never felt like I do not trust you. It is just a cute jealousy, but I will never see you as anything less than a loyal man. Even if you met Angelina Jolie, you would not look at her (I think so). I trust you completely. I know those sides of you are reserved only for me, and I am honored. I am the luckiest girl to see them, to be loved by a man like you, so strong that I will never feel in danger beside you, and so soft that I will never be afraid of being with you.

Even when you had not fully shown these sides to me, I knew they existed. I saw them in the way you treat your sisters, in the way you talk about your mom, and in the way you have apologized to me since day one. You wrote me a poem, you sent me a video, and you wrote hundreds of words just to make me feel okay. I have always known how soft and kind you are, even when you were so avoidant. I know you have a beautiful big garden full of seeds inside you that just needs the right farmer to come and take care of it. You needed someone to take care of you, love. And after you gave me the key to this garden, I promise you I will always take care of it, protect the roses inside your heart, and live the joy of being there.

When I look at us, I see that we share this same softness. Even my female friends would never think I am a lover girl in this way. You are the first and only boy I have ever told that I love him, the first and only one who made me feel that you are the right one, the one who made me break my rules of being independent and ghosting every boy in this world. I am available only for you. I am loyal like Mikasa, and you are Eren in my eyes, the one I want to keep forever, and the one I want to show all of me to.

If I could collect all the beautiful things in this world, I could summarize them by saying you. All the versions of you that I see. You are my favorite. You are my standard to measure whether things are beautiful or not. You will never be unloved by me. I will be your source of care so you do not need another. I will take care of you forever.

Sometimes I still cannot process it. The boy I loved since I was 17, silently for three years, is now with me, loves me, writes me letters, and changes for me, and we are planning our future together. We are loud in our love. I do not feel like I am too much. We are perfect for each other. Oh God, we are so lucky to fall in love, to feel this feeling, with the man I have always wanted. You are my biggest achievement, the only thing I have ever truly wanted. All my dreams are tied to you. You are the main function. Without you, my program will never work.

I love you, Ahmed, without complications. I love you straightforwardly, to the point that I forget the world and just stay with you, because you are my world.