Ever since I knew you, you were like Mikasa. Tough. Steady, from the very first day we met, you always said I am secretive. And yes, I am.

You talk a lot, and I love that about you. But even in all your stories, you never showed me everything. You kept many of the real things about you hidden, at first, I thought maybe you had your friends, all the girls around you, your family. Maybe you had places to vent. Maybe you did not need to share more.

But it was obvious.

You were secretive too.

I hid my secrets behind science, passion, politeness. You hid yours behind stories, compassion, wonder. But they were there. I could see them. Even when I was lost in my own head, even when I was absent minded, I knew you were selective about who you opened up to.

Being secretive does not mean carrying dozens of dramatic stories. Sometimes it just means hiding your momentary pain so someone else can grow peacefully. You did that for everyone, people found warmth in you. They found peace. Lucky them, they found your laughter, but even in those moments, you were holding something back. You would not ask for help. You learned to carry things on your own. And that is difficult. I know it is.

That is what sets us apart.

We were there for everyone else. But no one was fully there for us. Not to cheapen the love of family or friends. They tried. They cared. But there were things we held that we did not want to share. As if there was no one who could really hold them.

Until there was us.

I was there for you. You were there for me.

And maybe what made it unique is that for the first time in both of our lives, there was someone who did not just care on the surface, but cared deeply enough to try to understand. To stand with. To help heal. Before loving blindly.

And the best part is, that we saved all these beautiful parts we didn’t share, to ourselves, away from anyone else, that we would get a life time, to share with someone who would stay, this was us, we were there for each other before we ever called it love.

My beloved tough Mikasa.