Most relationships require too many pinky promises to sustain them. often because they are chaotic, and things can backfire at any time between the partners. it happens when the connection is not built in harmony.

Take two people who are simply afraid to be alone. they form a bond not out of love, but out of emptiness. they are not fortunate enough to have aligned personalities, aspirations, or lifestyles. so keeping things intact feels impossible. they then treat this misalignment as a problem to be solved with promises.

And so they begin creating amendments to their constitution of love. promise after promise. rule after rule. it becomes complex, heavy to consider, hard to follow, and easy to fail.

It is not that promises do not work. they usually do. but they are not meant to be used this way. not as tape you place over every crack.

My honest advice would be to fall in love with someone you truly love first, not someone you chose only because you felt lonely. the statistical chance that they like you back, when chosen from emptiness, is not close to certainty.

Our kind of connection feels different.

We get along without needing to manufacture promises constantly. we trust each other enough not to depend on them as structure. we will use a few of them, though. but the kind that do not restrict, only clarify.

Promises that do not change who we are, but help us become better.

For example, a promise like, I will tell you when I am leaving. if I reach a point where I need time with myself, I will let you know. and eventually, I will learn to keep that promise.

These are soft promises. not limiting. not heavy. but powerful.

The kind that protect the bond instead of imprisoning it.

The kind that keep it safe, secure, and healthy.