Balanced. something made sense.

I wanted the conditions to be better, for life to align, for better days to come.
I do not love the life I am living fully recently. it is not that it is bad. I think I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing, but it felt empty, and heavy.

I was not planning for our affections to surface this early.
I was planning for it to surface a bit later, just when I am out of this hole I am in, just when I am finally headed somewhere and not living in the clouds.

But somehow since then, life is easier.
And I do not think it is the momentary kind of easier. it persisted for every single second of my day.

I felt guarded. and I felt secure for the very first time.

For the third day in a row, I am kind of different. and I do not think this is the excitement of beginnings. I think it is ever glowing inside me, and no matter how stormy it gets, it will never fade.

Today I felt on the ground. for the very first time in a long time, I felt present.
But this one was different. I did not feel presence because of my family, but because of someone. a single person, whom the thought of them in my head is the best thing I can think of.

I could see life differently. more real.
As if I was making everything complex and harder to interpret.

I see girls down the street. they look at me.
I wish I could tell them now, I am not going to look at any girl again. execute me ladies, I respect you, but I have one. one that I care for more than anything else.

This clarity, of focusing on one person finally and investing in them, and not seeing any one else, is perhaps all what I needed.

I always invested in you. and I will keep doing so.
Because I do not want to invest somewhere else.

You keep me on the ground when my head is in the sky.
You open my eyes to the life we live in.
And you were the only one who helped me with this.